?

Log in

No account? Create an account

Previous Entry | Next Entry

Mattie is named for my dad, Martin, who passed away a bit less than a year before she was born. She knows this and she knows that he is dead. Periodically, when she is desperately trying to put off going to sleep, she asks about him. However, she only ever asks one thing: how did your daddy die? I used to answer each time, but now I ask her to answer instead. He died of a heart attack and was on medications for a bunch of things when he passed, and I explained that he was sick and one day his heart couldn't keep working right. The inevitable questions evolved the answer into:he didn't exercise enough and he didn't eat a balanced variety of foods. Yes, he probably ate a bit too much candy and cake  maybe not enough vegetable

I'm comfortable with the answer and I'm happy that Mattie is asking good questions like this, but why this same question over and over? This goes in spurts, too. She'll ask nearly every day for a couple of weeks and then nothing. When my grandmother, Bess, recently passed in November, naturally, these questions increased as we talked about what happened and why gramma was gone for a few weeks, and I expected that. However, sometimes it seems to come out of the blue. Sometimes she talks about missing gramma and even my dad, who she never met and we talk about it for a while. Occasionally there are questions about heaven (which are met witth: yes, that's what some people believe).

I'm pretty confident that this is normal curiosity and she doesn't seem to dwell or anything, but how do other people respond to their kids?